Ending & Beginning

What a terrible past few days!  I've failed myself and am not happy about it!  I know it's hormonal but that's really not an excuse.  I haven't worked out since my walk last Thursday.  And in turn it's effected my eating.  I've been stressing about a lot of different things and instead of dealing with it in a productive way I turned to food.  Which in turn makes me feel worse.
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It's been a "dark" few days.  Those with depression would understand.  It's frustrating when you have these feelings that you know are beyond your control and there's nothing you can do about it.  I want to "snap out of it" but I just can't!  I know it will eventually pass but that doesn't make it any less frustrating in the moment!
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My cousin and I did go and get pedicures on Saturday.  It was my very first one!  My feet are so ticklish that I wasn't sure if I could handle it!  :)  It was fun and did seem to lift the clouds for a little while!

Today I'm feeling like it's finally lifting so that's good.  I'm actually starting to look forward to my walk tomorrow which is a feeling I'm very glad to be having!

Tomorrow will be the beginning of Week 4.  So here's to ending a bad stretch and a new beginning!  I have one more week until I leave for vacation.  Then when I come back I can finally start my "official" C25K training!  Very excited about that!

I was looking for a picture to represent a new beginning and this one just made me happy!  How am I going to color my world?  It can be dark and gray or it can be bursting with color.  The choice it mine!
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I don't want to lose my momentum on vacation so I told my cousin that we ARE GOING TO BE ACTIVE!  We are not only going to find things to see, we are going to find things to DO!  She's been running every day and says she plans to keep doing it on vacation so we're on the same page ~ thank goodness! 
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Here's to not giving up.....

....because I'M WORTH IT!

Oh Deer...

I was feeling better this morning.  I think my mood and general funk these past few days are hormonal!  Oh the joys of being a woman!
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I still struggle between waking up and actually getting up.  And it baffles me because as I lay there I think about how great I feel when I'm walking and pushing myself!  And yet something still tries to hold me back.  I've never regretted getting up and moving.  I know that I feel an incredible rush when I get up and move.  So why oh why do I struggle so?
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I seem to have gotten shin splits.  I haven't have any pain before today.  So I'll ice them and see what happens come Saturday.  I can't let this de-rail me but I also don't want to make anything worse.
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It was quiet, quiet, quiet this morning.  Felt like I had the world to myself!  I did run into these two though:

Not sure who was more startled when I came around the corner and saw them!  It's kind of hard to tell in the picture how close they are but they were RIGHT THERE!
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Lots of rabbits out today but they don't let me get close enough to take a picture before they scamper off into the underbrush.
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I don't really have another topic to talk about today!  I'll be here tomorrow after my 10-Minute Trainer workout!

Struggling

I'm in a funky mood today.  I hate dwelling on the negative things but the truth is today I'm struggling with my attitude.  Last night I was again feeling so tired by 8 o'clock.  So I went to bed and still go woken up by the alarm buzzing at 5.  I've never been a long sleeper.  Getting 7 hours of sleep a night was what I considered a good night for me so this is feeling very foreign to me.
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I wasn't feeling like working out.  I had planned on adding the Ab training to my 10-Minute Trainer but was just dragging!  But like Mandy also says "just press play".  So I did.  I'm glad I did but I just couldn't wait for it to be over.  I was dragging through the exercises, thinking that I don't seem to be getting stronger - feels like I'm still at the same level I started at 2 weeks ago - which is a downer.
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All this after the great day I had yesterday is just depressing!  My attitude also affected my eating this morning.  It's crazy the way those two are so tied together!
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So what can I do about it?

1. Keep telling myself that this too shall pass
2. DO NOT let my own bad attitude de-rail my progress
3. Look forward to better days
4. Anticipate my morning walk, remembering the rush and the sense of accomplishment that I get from pushing up those hills
5. DO NOT sit and mope ~ keep busy!
6. Think about what is positive in my life - no matter how small or insignificant they may seem

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A dog that makes me laugh

New cyber friends who encourage me to keep on going

A creative mind

My job that is allowing me to go on a 2 week vacation

My general health

My cousins who make me laugh

My "other" family who encourages me in all I endeavor to do

The sunshine

The sense of community I get from my community

My friend Erin ~ who's a hugger

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Starting Week 3:

I killed it today!!  I'm flying so high right now I can hardly contain my excitement!  I woke up refreshed and ready to go.  Since today is the start of Week 3 for me I knew that I had to continue on the route that I'd walked on Saturday.  It's about 2x as long as the route that I started out on and has a LOT more hills!
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The first 3/4 of my walk was very solitary and it was really nice to just be with ME :)  I did however run across Thumper & Flower!  Haha!
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So as I hit the part of my route that is about 3 hills all in a row I was imagining what it is going to feel like when I'm running those same hills!
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It was hard going but I was going at a steady pace and I just kept pushing on!  I felt a little like the Little Engine That Could...but with a small difference:

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I was literally saying "I know I can! I know I can!" over and over to myself!  As I was pushing up the last big hill I came across about 6-7 runners coming the other way.  I just smiled and knew that soon I will be joining them! :)
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I do have a confession to make about yesterday.  I ended up not doing my resistance training.  "Life" got in the way!  This is why for me it's so important that I get my workouts done in the morning which I failed to do yesterday.  By the time I got home last night my body just felt exhausted which is unusual for me.  So I made a grilled chicken salad for dinner and went to bed.  I think it ended up being the right choice for THAT day but I will try to avoid that same thing happening in the future.  I refuse to dwell on it, especially since it'll only bring me down.  I can't go back and re-do yesterday but I can learn from it, make a new commitment today, and move forward!  So that's what I'm doing!

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One of my past posts was on my avoidance of numbers and how that works for me.  I've been thinking about that these past couple weeks and I realized that it was through that learning experience with the numbers, mainly Weight Watchers and their Points system, is what helped me figure out what works for me.  Even though I'm no longer following the WW plan I am so grateful for what it taught me.  It showed me correct portions ~ by using their points system I learned how to measure which is what I base my "eye-balling" method on now.  I learned how much I should be eating each day.  So without that experience I would probably be lost today and that makes me value the knowledge I received when I was on the plan.
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I still won't get on the scale.  I know what I weighed last time I went to the doctor.  At this point I have to admit I'm scared to weigh myself.  Because I know the evil power that thing has over me.  I don't have a specific number of pounds that I think I should have lost but what if I get on and see what it says and suddenly I don't think it's as much as it should be?  I know that something like that has a great potential to de-rail me.  I know I will weigh myself one day but for now I have to stay away.  I prefer to gauge my success by how I feel physically, mentally, and how my clothes fit.