One of those days..........

Saturday was just a completely awesome day!  Started off with my wonderful, long walk followed by a walk to the Farmer's Market:

Then lunch with my cousin, then another walk up to the park for street fair, then sitting at the pool dipping our feet in and just chatting.  Then off to a cooking class where we learned how to make stuffed green peppers.  They were so amazing!!  Stuffed with rice and veggies ~ yum!  Then topped the day off with a nice, cool, refreshing orange sorbet at The Chill Spot! :)

These aren't the ones we made but this is what they looked like.  Don't they look delicious?!
.
Sunday was my rest day so I took it easy.  Cleaned house, got some things organized.  I think I may have had a touch of sun exhaustion from Saturday.  I'm not a napper but in the afternoon I couldn't even keep my eyes open so I did sneak in a little nap.
.
And then comes today ~ blah!  I went to bed at my normal time last night but I didn't sleep very well.  Didn't beat the alarm, hit snooze a couple of time, then got up and realized I had a ton of fly bites all over and they itch something fierce!  So no 10-Minute Trainer this morning.  It just seems to be one of those days!  But I'm not going to let that slow me down!  I've vowed to myself to do my training after work even thought it'll be hot and stuffy!

~~~

.

~~~

Goals:  Until now I've never understood the importance of having specific goals.  Sure I had goals but they were very vague, I never wrote them down, never considered how I could achieve them.  And as a result I never reached them!  Imagine that!* (note sarcasm!)
.
Since pin-pointing my goal of running, writing it down, developing steps that will enable me to reach my goal, I have seen more daily successes!  I know that when I get up and walk in the morning or get up and do my resistance training that these things are steps on my way to fulfilling a life long dream!  It keeps me very focused on why I'm doing what I doing as I'm doing it!  Will this choice help or hinder my dream?

One great thing for me is that by having a goal that's not weight related it's turned my focus away from food.  When my vague goal was to lose weight (how much? how fast? by what means? - things that I never addressed) my focus was about food and was bordering on obsession.  And if you're a stress/emotional/boredom eater like me, it was like dangling alcohol in front of an alcohalic!  Now that my goal is RUNNING, my focus is on the proper way to train, the proper shoes, getting out and moving, building up my endurance, visualizing myself running.  Things that get me away from my food obsession!  Which in turn makes me eat better!  Which makes me feel better!  Which makes it a whole lot easier for me to make the choices that will help me reach my goal!
.
Of course it's different for everyone and the key is finding what works for YOU!

Walking & Aliens

There's just something sexy about a man in leather chaps riding a horse........Oh wait, that doesn't have anything to do with running!  I broke my routine last night and went and saw Cowboys and Aliens with my cousin.  She had to work until 10 so we went to the late showing.  Way past what's become my normal bedtime but once in awhile is ok!  This is not my typical type of movie but I really enjoyed it!
.
Even though I was up several hour later than normal I still woke up at my regular time.  Fortunately I was able to go back to sleep for a couple more hours.  So when I woke up again at 7 I was up and very looking forward to my walk.  So off I went!

I went a completely different route this morning.  We have a trail that borders a golf course on one side and is untamed on the other.  It was a far better path as far as views go!  There were some wildflower/flowering weeds along that way that were very pretty.

There were people out galore this morning.  Old people, young people, walkers, runners, bikers, people out running with their dogs!
.
If I had to describe today's walk in a just a few words I'd have to say ~ WHAT A RUSH!! ~.  This was by far the best walk I've had so far.  And the funny thing is that it was also the hardest!  There's just something about pushing pushing pushing yourself past your normal comfort zone and knowing that you can do it!  That self-talk was very useful today.  I just kept telling myself that I could do this.  I left zero room in my head for negative thoughts!
.
There were a lot more hills, it was about 2x as far and I just kept pushing myself!  I was past the main trial and there wasn't a sidewalk and all I could see ahead were 3 little hills that I knew I had to get past!  So I just viewed hills and walking on the gravel and dirt and ground cover was just a preparation for my hiking days to come! :)

I did have a little concern when I first started off because my foot was really bothering me.  I didn't know if it was one of those things that by straining it I'd make it worse or if it was just because I've started walking and soreness is to be expected.  I didn't want to use it as an excuse to keep me from my walk so I was just very careful and "listened" to my body.  And I'm so glad that I kept going because the pain did alleviate.  I'm still REALLY feeling it in my calves and in the backs of my thighs but oh what a feeling!
.
Today is one of our City Days where vendors are all set up in the park and there's old cars and fun stuff so I'm planning to walk back to the park this afternoon and wander around there a bit.  In the past I would have driven even though it's close enough that the walk is very enjoyable!
.
Tonight my cousin and I are taking an Italian cooking class.  Tonight's menu is Stuffed Peppers.  I'm hoping that they're stuffed with healthy things!  It's taught by a little Italian lady who is just a sweetheart so the classes are really fun!
.
Now to get cleaned up and walk over to the Farmer's Market ~ I wonder what goodies I'll find today............ :)

10-Minute Trainer & Hiking!!

On the days that I do resistance training I'm using the 10-Minute Trainer and I love it!!  (If anyone decides to try it out, please get it through Beachbody Coach Mandy Horan!  She's great and will help you reach your goals!)  I like it because right now 10 minutes is all I can do!  It's a great workout and I know it's happy to be kicking my butt! ;)  And besides ~ who can't commit to just 10 minutes a day?  And before I know it, I'm positive that I'll be doing more than just the initial 10 minutes.  I'm doing it every other day, trading off with my walking sessions.
.
Today was one of those days that I was just not getting that "10" that I like to get when I'm working out.  I didn't have any problems getting out of bed (yay!!) and once again I beat the alarm clock!  I was just not feeling it and on one hand was I kind of bummed that I didn't reach the level I wanted but on the other hand I'm so proud of myself for just pushing through it.  I didn't quit, I didn't give up.  We can't let days like these de-rail us!

~~~

.

~~~

Let's talk about hiking!  I *LOVE*LOVE*LOVE hiking!

I've only been a few times in my life but oh what a feeling!  It's exhilerating and I can not wait to do more.  I love the hard work that comes before the payoff.  Whether it's a spectacular view or just that incredible feeling of accomplishment, it's so worth it.  No one in my family are hikers or outdoorsy unfortunately, so I didn't grow up getting to do this sort of thing.  I'm in the process of looking into some local hiking clubs but haven't found one yet that would be a fit for me - but I'll keep looking!!

.

I bought a book that lists the best wildflower hikes in my state.  It tells you the best times to go, the times that the most wildflowers are in bloom.  Some are day hikes, some are overnight hikes.  As I mentioned yesterday about creating my "Fitness Bucket List", one of the items on the list is to eventually hike at least 50% of the hikes listed in my book!  I'm looking at starting that next spring!  Hopefully by then I'll have found a hiking buddy! :)

.

I also have some other very exciting news!  One of the guys I work with goes hiking with his 4 boys and I mentioned that hiking is something I really want to do and he told me that the next time they go I'm definately invited!  Woo hoo!!  He has some property up by a lake that has some great trails & views.  Anyway I just kept on him about when we could go and today he said let's plan it for Labor Day weekend!  I cannot tell you how excited I am about this!  If you think you can guess how excited I am, take that and multiply it a million!!  (And with it a month away it gives me a few more weeks to build up my endurance!)

"Climbing is not a spectator sport." ~Mark Wellman

Walking & Sustainability

What a walk this morning!  I found myself just loving being out.  The air was cool & crisp and it felt great to be breathing in that fresh air.  Have I mentioned that I just love my community?  It's so walker/runner/biker friendly!  I passed a couple out running and was thrilled knowing that soon that will be me!  Eeeeee!! :)
.
My route starts right out on a hill and today it seemed to be harder.  I was really struggling trying to keep up the same pace I've used on the previous days.  As I got to my original turn off I was so tempted to revert to my other, shorter route.  But I said "no, just push through it".  So I kept on the longer route and am so glad I did.  It's a great feeling of accomplishment to know I didn't give up just because it was hard!  I really think it's these little steps of perservereance that help me keep going.


One of the things I'm working on is remembering to hold onto those good feelings that come when I make the best choices.  Those days when I wake up and think I just want to stay in bed, I remember how I felt when I did get up and get moving vs. the disappointment I felt with myself when I did stay in bed.  There's that tiny moment between laying and standing that is the hardest for me!  Because once I'm up, I'm ready to go and won't get back into bed.  It's just the actual moving from laying to standing that is my hardest struggle.

~~~

.

~~~

Today I've been thinking about the sustainability of the plan we choose for ourselves.  It's going to be different for each person and I think it's very important that we try different avenues and plans and be willing to just find those things that work for us and create our own custom plan.
.
I've still got a lot to learn but here's a few things I've learned so far:
     -WHAT DOES WORK FOR ME:
          1.  Gradually change behaviors and habits:  I first changed my sleeping habits, then I started walking, then I started adding distance to my walk - that's where I am now.  And with the slower change over it feels more natural.
          2.  Slowly incorporate new healthy foods in as I slowly move unhealthy foods out so as to not feel deprived.  The minute you tell yourself you can't have something, it's the only thing you want!  I still have food in my house that probably shouldn't be there but over these past few weeks I've been bringing in more fruits and veggies in and I find myself reaching less and less for those unhealthy processed foods and more towards the good stuff.  I know it's there even if I'm not eating it so I don't feel deprived.  And if I do  choose to have it, I can have it in moderation to curb the craving.  Slow changes work best for me!
    -WHAT DOES NOT WORK FOR ME:
          1.  Completely changing everything from eating habits to exercise from one extreme to another all in one day.  In the past when I've started a new program I'd go in the clean out all the food that they said was bad, I'd jump right into a vigorous exercise routine that I'd do 5-6 days a week.  Well it wouldn't take long before I'd burn out.  It was such an abrupt change that I couldn't sustain it.  But by making one little change at a time (I typically do it for about a week before adding another change into the mix) it's a more natural progression into the person that I want to become.

I decided to add a "Fitness Bucket List" to the bottom of the blog.  I've listed a few things that I'm working towards.  As I think of new ones I will add them.  My one BIG one is to one day hike the Grand Canyon!

Resistance & Reaching Out

Today I beat the alarm clock again (yay!) and as I rolled out of bed I found that I was actually looking forward to doing my resistance training.  It's still a hard workout and it's still kicking my butt ~ but I wouldn't want it any other way.

Working out in the morning is the best time for me!  Mentally it's a great way to start the day.  It just seems to set the tone for the rest of the day.  It makes it easier to make better choices for the rest of the day when it's gotten off to a great start. And if you don't, you may feel like this:

....and who wants to start the day like that! :)
.
For more practical reasons it gets it "out of the way".  I don't like looking at exercise that way but you know what I mean.  We may have all the best intentions to work out at a certain time of time, maybe it's even written in our calendar - but life happens!  Sometimes things beyond our control come up and put a kink in our plans.  Sometimes we can work around it, sometimes we can't.  So if it's been taken care of first thing, that's one less thing we have to deal with if life gets in the way!

~~~

.

~~~

I want to talk about something that's really hard for me to talk about.  It's something I've felt for most of my life.  It's this idea that I swear some people have that "fat is contagious".  I've had this notion, whether real or imagined, that people don't like to touch fat people.  All my life I've made sure that I don't get too close to people for fear they'll be disgusted if they accidentally touch me.  I can't remember a time when I wasn't like this.  I never initiate touch because I've always been so sure that they're grossed out by me.  If you've never been on "this side" you probably don't know or understand what I mean.
.
What brought this out more lately is when I started watching Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition.  When I first saw trainer Chris Powell I was intimidated.  I made a snap judgement about what sort of guy he was based on how he looked.  Because guys that look like him certainly don't really care about "us".  Guys like him laugh at the fat people.  Guys like him steer clear of fat people so as to not ruin their own reputation.
.
I couldn't have been more wrong!  Watching him interact with his clients it's very clear to anyone that he truly cares about them.  And what's more - he's always touching them in an encouraging way.  A comforting arm around them if they're struggling, a high five and a hug when they've killed a workout.  Just a touch on the arm in passing.  I love him for this!  It's taught me that not everyone thinks they'll "catch something" if they touch a fat person.  Now this may not sound like much but I've never had someone treat me like that.  If someone ever touched my arm it's my jerk reaction to move away because I'm just sure they didn't mean it.
.
And now I have a friend that a hugger.  And after a year of always getting a hug from her whenever I see her, it still catches me off guard!  She just comes up to me, no hesitation, and gives me a big ol' hug!

So I don't know if it's all in my head or if there are people like that out there and I've just had the bad luck of running into them my whole life.  But I do know that in the past year since I've been working on coming out of my shell, trying to be more personable, trying to branch out, that I get more of a positive response from those around me, including the occasional hand on my arm ~ so maybe it's a little of both.
.
Maybe I'm learning that I get back what I give out.  That by shying away from people, they tended to shy away from me and that by reaching out to others, they reach out to me.

Starting Week 2:

First let's catch up on yesterday.  I vowed to do my resistance training after work since I couldn't do it in the morning.  Working out after work is one of my least favorite times to do it.  However~ I walked in the door after work and I didn't pass go, didn't collect $200, didn't sort through my mail, ~ I went straight in my room and changed my clothes and WORKED OUT!  And as great as it felt physically to work out, the mental feeling is incredible!  I made a committment and I stuck to it.  I didn't make excuses.  I followed through because I'm learning that I'M WORTH IT!
.
So this morning was the start of Week 2 in my journey and I beat the alarm clock!  Yay!  Only by 2 minutes but what a feeling!
.
The biggest window of failure for me in the past has been those few minutes between knowing I need to get moving and actually moving.  Such a small window but such huge repercussions!  Those few minutes after waking up are when I struggle the most.  Which even to me sounds silly because from experience I know that I've never regretted getting up and moving and I love the feeling of being out and moving.  So why do I struggle so so much when I know those good feelings are awating me if I'd just get out of bed?!  So far I've been successful in not letting that evil little voice keep me down but I'm aware of it so I can always keep my guard up against it!
.
Since I'm now in Week 2 and already was feeling like my walking routine was getting easier I knew it was time to add some distance.  I left Cowboy at home this morning ~ the wind was blowing something terrible and he's such a delicate little thing ;) and I know he hates the wind!

So it was just me and my tunes this morning.  As I was walking I had so many thoughts running around in my head about things I wanted to share.  I know I can't remember them all!  Hopefully they'll come back to me!
.
I added some distance this morning and definately felt it.  I was really slowing down as I got back closer to home.  What an amazing feeling!  I could feel it in my legs, in the backs of my thighs where I've never felt it before.  When I get those feelings it just makes me want to dance! :)
.
As much as I love walking with Cowboy I do notice that I keep a steadier pace when I'm by myself.  So that's a good and a bad thing.  Have to learn how to balance that out!
.
It was very quiet out this morning.  Only saw 2 other people and just a couple of cars.  But instead of that being a lonely feeling, I used it as a time for just thinking, a time for reflecting, a time for planning, and a time to just jam to my tunes!

One of the people I saw was a lady running.  Now in the past I would have been jealous and thought that was unobtainable for me.  But this morning I saw it not only as a possibiliy but as a PROBABILITY!  I know that one day that will be me.  No more sitting on the sidelines watching life go by and wishing I was in it.  Now I'm up and right in the middle of it! 
.
Watching the Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition season finale was so inspiring!  I saw Krista, at around 300 pounds RUNNING a 1/2 marathon and I realized: I HAVE NO MORE EXCUSES!  She's out there running ~ doing something that I just crave to do so bad and it spurred me on!

So as a result of that I know I've got to set another plan in motion.  (Tweaking & adjusting: isn't that what life is all about?)  In the middle of August my cousin and I are going on a 2+ week road trip (sooo excited but that's a whole other post!).  So the plan I'm setting up for myself is this:  I will continue my walking, increasing the distance & inclines steadily until our trip in 3 weeks.  Then when I'm back home I WILL start RUNNING!  Whether it's for 30 seconds or for a mile at first doesn't matter as long as I'm committed to giving it all I've got!.  I've been researching different C25K programs and apps and I think I've found one that I like.  That WILL start August 31st!  I'm so excited just talking about it!!
.
Funny story:  On Sunday my sister, who has never been a runner nor expressed any desire to do so, officially announced that she's training with my sister-in-law for a 5K in November.  As I was a week into my transition already I couldn't help but laugh (in a good way of course!)  What is my family becoming?  :)  So now my quandry is this: do I tell my family my plan?  So far I haven't mentioned it to anyone outside of Facebook what I am doing.  On one hand the support would (hopefully!) be great, but on the other hand I'd love to be able to surprise them by telling them at the last minute that I'm going to run it too.  I can just imagine the look on their faces!
.
(I have to admit that there are some underlying issues with me and my family that I don't want to go into right now and I'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason for NOT telling them ahead of time.)  What to do... What to do...
.

I've discovered something about myself:  I get so much more from being successful in being true to my commitment to myself than I ever did from seeing a lower number on the scale.  Don't get me wrong, anytime I lost weight in the past I felt great and it does feel good seeing that lower number.  But the rush & high that comes from doing something that is not only good for my body but also something that is bringing me that much closer to fulfilling my dream is priceless!
.

"Life affords no higher pleasure than that of surmounting difficulties;

passing from one step of success to another,

forming new wishes,

and seeing them gratified.

He that labors in any great or laudable undertaking

has his fatigues first supported by hope,

and afterwards rewarded by joy"

-Samuel Johnson