Starting Week 2:

First let's catch up on yesterday.  I vowed to do my resistance training after work since I couldn't do it in the morning.  Working out after work is one of my least favorite times to do it.  However~ I walked in the door after work and I didn't pass go, didn't collect $200, didn't sort through my mail, ~ I went straight in my room and changed my clothes and WORKED OUT!  And as great as it felt physically to work out, the mental feeling is incredible!  I made a committment and I stuck to it.  I didn't make excuses.  I followed through because I'm learning that I'M WORTH IT!
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So this morning was the start of Week 2 in my journey and I beat the alarm clock!  Yay!  Only by 2 minutes but what a feeling!
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The biggest window of failure for me in the past has been those few minutes between knowing I need to get moving and actually moving.  Such a small window but such huge repercussions!  Those few minutes after waking up are when I struggle the most.  Which even to me sounds silly because from experience I know that I've never regretted getting up and moving and I love the feeling of being out and moving.  So why do I struggle so so much when I know those good feelings are awating me if I'd just get out of bed?!  So far I've been successful in not letting that evil little voice keep me down but I'm aware of it so I can always keep my guard up against it!
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Since I'm now in Week 2 and already was feeling like my walking routine was getting easier I knew it was time to add some distance.  I left Cowboy at home this morning ~ the wind was blowing something terrible and he's such a delicate little thing ;) and I know he hates the wind!

So it was just me and my tunes this morning.  As I was walking I had so many thoughts running around in my head about things I wanted to share.  I know I can't remember them all!  Hopefully they'll come back to me!
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I added some distance this morning and definately felt it.  I was really slowing down as I got back closer to home.  What an amazing feeling!  I could feel it in my legs, in the backs of my thighs where I've never felt it before.  When I get those feelings it just makes me want to dance! :)
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As much as I love walking with Cowboy I do notice that I keep a steadier pace when I'm by myself.  So that's a good and a bad thing.  Have to learn how to balance that out!
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It was very quiet out this morning.  Only saw 2 other people and just a couple of cars.  But instead of that being a lonely feeling, I used it as a time for just thinking, a time for reflecting, a time for planning, and a time to just jam to my tunes!

One of the people I saw was a lady running.  Now in the past I would have been jealous and thought that was unobtainable for me.  But this morning I saw it not only as a possibiliy but as a PROBABILITY!  I know that one day that will be me.  No more sitting on the sidelines watching life go by and wishing I was in it.  Now I'm up and right in the middle of it! 
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Watching the Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition season finale was so inspiring!  I saw Krista, at around 300 pounds RUNNING a 1/2 marathon and I realized: I HAVE NO MORE EXCUSES!  She's out there running ~ doing something that I just crave to do so bad and it spurred me on!

So as a result of that I know I've got to set another plan in motion.  (Tweaking & adjusting: isn't that what life is all about?)  In the middle of August my cousin and I are going on a 2+ week road trip (sooo excited but that's a whole other post!).  So the plan I'm setting up for myself is this:  I will continue my walking, increasing the distance & inclines steadily until our trip in 3 weeks.  Then when I'm back home I WILL start RUNNING!  Whether it's for 30 seconds or for a mile at first doesn't matter as long as I'm committed to giving it all I've got!.  I've been researching different C25K programs and apps and I think I've found one that I like.  That WILL start August 31st!  I'm so excited just talking about it!!
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Funny story:  On Sunday my sister, who has never been a runner nor expressed any desire to do so, officially announced that she's training with my sister-in-law for a 5K in November.  As I was a week into my transition already I couldn't help but laugh (in a good way of course!)  What is my family becoming?  :)  So now my quandry is this: do I tell my family my plan?  So far I haven't mentioned it to anyone outside of Facebook what I am doing.  On one hand the support would (hopefully!) be great, but on the other hand I'd love to be able to surprise them by telling them at the last minute that I'm going to run it too.  I can just imagine the look on their faces!
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(I have to admit that there are some underlying issues with me and my family that I don't want to go into right now and I'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason for NOT telling them ahead of time.)  What to do... What to do...
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I've discovered something about myself:  I get so much more from being successful in being true to my commitment to myself than I ever did from seeing a lower number on the scale.  Don't get me wrong, anytime I lost weight in the past I felt great and it does feel good seeing that lower number.  But the rush & high that comes from doing something that is not only good for my body but also something that is bringing me that much closer to fulfilling my dream is priceless!
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"Life affords no higher pleasure than that of surmounting difficulties;

passing from one step of success to another,

forming new wishes,

and seeing them gratified.

He that labors in any great or laudable undertaking

has his fatigues first supported by hope,

and afterwards rewarded by joy"

-Samuel Johnson