Numbers and a few other things

Today was a resistance training day.  Got up (barely!) and ran through the same routine I did on Wednesday.  I hate switching routines until I have mastered one.  It makes me feel like I'm "cheating" if I switch before I can master it.  I know that crazy thinking since I'm one that subscribes to the "muscle confusion" thought.  So perhaps I will try and find another routine to change it up a bit!

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It seems like it's getting harder and harder to get up in the morning.  Not really like I'm dreading it but just not having that "get up and go" attitude.  This scares me a bit because I know what I've done/been like in the past and do not want to repeat those same mistakes.  I always start very gung-ho but then loose steam.  I can imagine it's like this for most people.  That's part of the reason for this blog: to keep me focused & dedicated & committed!   I just have to keep telling myself that it's one day at a time.  Don't worry tomorrow because tomorrow never comes.  Focus on today ~ do your best today ~ commit to today ~ SUCCEED TODAY!

I said earlier that I'd share my thoughts on the whole "numbers" game involved in health, diet, fitness, etc.  These are just my thoughts and things that I've found out about what works and what doesn't work for me.  I know everyone is different and some people need the numbers to keep them motivated and that's ok!
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First, the scale.  While I think the scale is an important tool I don't think we should focus our entire life around the thing!  The more obsessed we are with it the more obsessed with it we become.  I was on Weight Watchers for 2+ years and while the program worked I was miserable because to me it seemed like everything revolved about the number on the scale and less about getting healthy.  Of course they teach healthy eating as part of the plan but go to the meetings and everyone is putting their entire self worth into what the scale says.  They'd be disappointed in themselves if they had followed the plan to a T and exercised faithfully but didn't see the result on the scale.  It didn't seem to matter that they were making good, healthy choices, things that would benefit them greatly in the long run simply because of a number on the scale!

It's great to see a number on our scale go down but if we are choosing to eat healthy and choosing to exercise then the number on the scale will go down!  Make your goal to be healthy and not a goal of just seeing a certain number on the scale.
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Second:  Counting calories (or points on WW).  The problem for me is that by having to count every. single. solitary. thing that went into my mouth I was more obsessed with food than I had ever been before!  I was thinking about food every minute of the day - which resulted in it being harder and harder for me to resist splurging or binging.  How many points do I have left today?  How many calories is this apple?  When is my next scheduled meal?  What am I going to eat? and so on!
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I look cooking and for me it's very relaxing and a stress reliever.  And it doesn't even have to be for me.  I just love to cook!  I'm not some great chef and am not into doing really fancy cooking.  Just good down home cooking!  Which does not have to be unhealthy!  I use a lot of vegetables, lean meats, high fiber foods in my cooking.

But see how relaxing cooking is when you have to weigh, measure,  calculate and re-calculate everything!  I cook like my grandma did ~ just toss some in the pan!  When I was on a designated plan, cooking no longer was enjoyable.
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That being said, I understand the importance of weighing & measureing our food.  And I do it.  Just not every day for every single thing.  I use it more as a guide to keep my eye-balling method in check.  I touch on it here and there so my portions don't steadily get bigger and bigger.  Cooking is now enjoyable again!

Maybe I should even get Cowboy in the kitchen to help me! ;)

So those are my reasons for not focusing on the numbers.  I'm not making this change so I can weigh a certain amount or wear a certain size.  I'm doing it because I want to be healthy.  I want to be healthy so I can enjoy life.
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One of my biggest problems is motivation.  I know that I feel amazing after I exercise.  I know that I enjoy exercising (believe it or not I don't look at exercise as torture!), I know it's crucial to my health.  I know it's absolutely necessary if I want to be able to do the things I enjoy.  So why oh why are there so many days that I can't get off my bum and MOVE?!!  It frustrates me to no end and yet I'm the one causing it!  I can watch motivational speeches, read motivational emails and they sound great, I'm nodding & agreeing...And still sitting there.  Then I beat myself up and that evil voice sneaks in and tells me I'm not worth it.
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And the funny thing is that if I'm around other people, I'm the one that wants to keep on going, I'm the one that's encouraging them to never give up, I push and push myself and others.  I won't quit!  It makes it seem like I'm being false ~ but I'm not!  I feel it when I'm with them.  But I don't feel it when I'm alone, so there I sit!  So these last few days I will admit that I'm not getting up and exercising because I'm so motivated, I'm doing it because I made a commitment to myself and for the first time in my life I don't want to give up on myself.  But I definately need to work on becoming motivated!
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I don't want to run just to be doing something healthy, I want to run because I crave that runner's high!  I'm one of those crazy people that enjoys exercise!  For me, running is the cake ~ being healthy and losing weight is the frosting!