The weekend...

It's very important for me to keep my schedule on the weekends.  So Saturday I was up and Cowboy and I went for our walk.  He loves getting outside and I know that the exercise is very important for him too so that's another reason for me to get up and go!  There were quite a few dog walkers out which is nice to see!.
Cowboy cracks me up.  He has a little skip when he walks.  It's hereditary ~ both his dad & grandpa had the same thing.  It's kind of hard to tell from this video since it's a bit shaky but if you pay close attention you can see what I mean:

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After our walk we went home and prepared to go to the farmer's market.  Oh how I just ~LOVE~ the farmer's market!  So many yummy, colorful, bright, & cheery things to see!  So Cowboy and I set off again and took another nice walk to the market.  Check out my haul:

Cherries, berries, lettuce, potatoes, a purple bell pepper (never seen such a thing so decided to try it!), basil that smells absolutely amazing, perfect jam, and a red onion jam!
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In just a short week I'm finding that it's easier for me to walk ~ time to add some distance! ~ and when I get back home I can climb the stairs to my second story condo a lot easier! :)  This is such a great feeling!  It makes me KNOW that it's working!  That I'm that much closer to my goal!
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Sunday was a rest day.  I'm feeling like a tweaked my knee on Saturday so I didn't want to stress it more.  So in the afternoon Cowboy and I just went for a leisurely stroll through my city's new arboretum.  It was nice to just be out in the sunshine for a little while! :)  Maybe it sounds silly but I get motivation from Cowboy just running & frolicking & darting from tree to tree, plant to plant!  He's so curious and enthusiastic!  One of these days he'll have his match in energy!  Haha! ;)
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Sunday evening I was at my friends house with their kids until they got home which was supposed to be about 10:30 pm.  A little later then my normal bedtime but I was helping them out.  But due to an accident on the highway, what should have been a 6 hour drive for them turned into a 9 hour drive - meaning I didn't get home until 1:30am!!  Nothing like that to upset the balance!  So I didn't get my resistance training in this morning.  Not to be a wasted day ~ I will be doing it after work!  It'll be hot and probably the last thing I'll feel like doing after work but I know that it's being diligent & committed that will make my goal a reality!

Numbers and a few other things

Today was a resistance training day.  Got up (barely!) and ran through the same routine I did on Wednesday.  I hate switching routines until I have mastered one.  It makes me feel like I'm "cheating" if I switch before I can master it.  I know that crazy thinking since I'm one that subscribes to the "muscle confusion" thought.  So perhaps I will try and find another routine to change it up a bit!

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It seems like it's getting harder and harder to get up in the morning.  Not really like I'm dreading it but just not having that "get up and go" attitude.  This scares me a bit because I know what I've done/been like in the past and do not want to repeat those same mistakes.  I always start very gung-ho but then loose steam.  I can imagine it's like this for most people.  That's part of the reason for this blog: to keep me focused & dedicated & committed!   I just have to keep telling myself that it's one day at a time.  Don't worry tomorrow because tomorrow never comes.  Focus on today ~ do your best today ~ commit to today ~ SUCCEED TODAY!

I said earlier that I'd share my thoughts on the whole "numbers" game involved in health, diet, fitness, etc.  These are just my thoughts and things that I've found out about what works and what doesn't work for me.  I know everyone is different and some people need the numbers to keep them motivated and that's ok!
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First, the scale.  While I think the scale is an important tool I don't think we should focus our entire life around the thing!  The more obsessed we are with it the more obsessed with it we become.  I was on Weight Watchers for 2+ years and while the program worked I was miserable because to me it seemed like everything revolved about the number on the scale and less about getting healthy.  Of course they teach healthy eating as part of the plan but go to the meetings and everyone is putting their entire self worth into what the scale says.  They'd be disappointed in themselves if they had followed the plan to a T and exercised faithfully but didn't see the result on the scale.  It didn't seem to matter that they were making good, healthy choices, things that would benefit them greatly in the long run simply because of a number on the scale!

It's great to see a number on our scale go down but if we are choosing to eat healthy and choosing to exercise then the number on the scale will go down!  Make your goal to be healthy and not a goal of just seeing a certain number on the scale.
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Second:  Counting calories (or points on WW).  The problem for me is that by having to count every. single. solitary. thing that went into my mouth I was more obsessed with food than I had ever been before!  I was thinking about food every minute of the day - which resulted in it being harder and harder for me to resist splurging or binging.  How many points do I have left today?  How many calories is this apple?  When is my next scheduled meal?  What am I going to eat? and so on!
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I look cooking and for me it's very relaxing and a stress reliever.  And it doesn't even have to be for me.  I just love to cook!  I'm not some great chef and am not into doing really fancy cooking.  Just good down home cooking!  Which does not have to be unhealthy!  I use a lot of vegetables, lean meats, high fiber foods in my cooking.

But see how relaxing cooking is when you have to weigh, measure,  calculate and re-calculate everything!  I cook like my grandma did ~ just toss some in the pan!  When I was on a designated plan, cooking no longer was enjoyable.
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That being said, I understand the importance of weighing & measureing our food.  And I do it.  Just not every day for every single thing.  I use it more as a guide to keep my eye-balling method in check.  I touch on it here and there so my portions don't steadily get bigger and bigger.  Cooking is now enjoyable again!

Maybe I should even get Cowboy in the kitchen to help me! ;)

So those are my reasons for not focusing on the numbers.  I'm not making this change so I can weigh a certain amount or wear a certain size.  I'm doing it because I want to be healthy.  I want to be healthy so I can enjoy life.
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One of my biggest problems is motivation.  I know that I feel amazing after I exercise.  I know that I enjoy exercising (believe it or not I don't look at exercise as torture!), I know it's crucial to my health.  I know it's absolutely necessary if I want to be able to do the things I enjoy.  So why oh why are there so many days that I can't get off my bum and MOVE?!!  It frustrates me to no end and yet I'm the one causing it!  I can watch motivational speeches, read motivational emails and they sound great, I'm nodding & agreeing...And still sitting there.  Then I beat myself up and that evil voice sneaks in and tells me I'm not worth it.
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And the funny thing is that if I'm around other people, I'm the one that wants to keep on going, I'm the one that's encouraging them to never give up, I push and push myself and others.  I won't quit!  It makes it seem like I'm being false ~ but I'm not!  I feel it when I'm with them.  But I don't feel it when I'm alone, so there I sit!  So these last few days I will admit that I'm not getting up and exercising because I'm so motivated, I'm doing it because I made a commitment to myself and for the first time in my life I don't want to give up on myself.  But I definately need to work on becoming motivated!
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I don't want to run just to be doing something healthy, I want to run because I crave that runner's high!  I'm one of those crazy people that enjoys exercise!  For me, running is the cake ~ being healthy and losing weight is the frosting!

Self-talk and listening to yourself

Today was a hard day to get up despite going to bed at 9:00 last night!  I was right in the middle of a deep sleep so when the alarm went off at 5:00 I was definately not feeling it.  But once again that GOOD voice came through telling me to just get up and go.  So I did! :)
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I'm learning that self-talk really helps.  When it was first suggested to me it was really hard to put into practice.  In the aftermath of an event I was asked if I had "talked" to myself and for me it's often not until the event is over that I look back and see where I could have used "self talk" but when I'm right in the middle of whatever it is, I'm so focused on that thing that I forget, or don't think about, doing the self-talk.  So it's definately a work in progress.  Remembering to self-talk is the key!
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When you've spent your whole life listening to the negative voice, whether it's external or internal, it's hard to believe the positive voice, either external or internal.  One things I'm proud of in myself is that when I hear or see something and my first thoughts are negative, I take a step back and consciously look for the things that are positive about it and focus on those.  And let me tell you that it goes a long way towards changing my attitude!
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Moral of the story:  Talk to yourself in a positive way, and more so - LISTEN!
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I took Cowboy on my walk this morning!

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He's a good little walker except that he feels the need to mark Every. Single. Tree. that we come across and as you can tell by my fuzzy picture....

there's a LOT of them!  They're planted like this the entire course of our walk! :)  Our community is a "tree community" ~ an honor from the Arbor Day Foundation so it makes for a beautiful walk with all the differenct trees and in such abundance!
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So Cowboy gets a good little workout.  He runs to one tree and I walk past while he's marking it and when I'm about halfway to the next tree his leash gets taut so I call him and he runs past me to the next tree and so on!  So he doesn't hinder my walk at all and he gets to run from tree to tree to tree!
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I'm feeling good from my commitment these last 3 days.  One day at a time!  My feeling of "good" is more mental at this point that physical ~ which is fine.  I know that what I'm doing will improve my physical well-being over time and right now it's awesome to feel good inside, to know that the choices I'm making are healthy and will lead me one by one to my goal of RUNNING!

My Step 2a: Resistance Training

I am alternating my walking days with resistance training.  I believe that it's very important to do both.  The DVD I'm using is "10-Minute Trainer"

It a great set!  As you can see it has a DVD for Total Body, Lower Body, Abs, Cardio, and Yoga.  So far I've only used the Total Body one and let me tell you it kicked my butt!
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It used to make be kind of depressed when I could hardly do what seemed like such a simple, easy workout.  Now I know that EVERY step I take, no matter how small, both figuratively and mentally, is valuable since it means I'm moving forward.  The workout band I got with this DVD set is the "hard" and towards the end I couldn't even stretch it above my head!  I know that I will get there though!  It just takes time & dedication & commitment!  If I can't even keep a commitment I make to myself, how can I ever hope to keep a commitment I make to someone else?
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The great thing about these bands are that you can ease or tighten (to a degree) the resistance.  So when I do get to where the workout is "easy" - I can just cinch up on the band and work at a harder level!
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I got my 10-Minute Trainer through Mandy Horan who is a Beachbody Coach.  If you're interested, contact her through her website, www.getfitwithmandy.com.  She also has the P90X and several others so no doubt you can find one that would work for you.
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And to copy what she always says: "Just press play!"
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~ A great pleasure in life is doing what others say you can't ~

My Step 2: Starting to Walk

As I woke up this morning my bed posts seemed to come alive and as they reached for me and told me to just stay in bed, just hit the snooze a few time, another voice coming from deep within said "Just do it, Becky!  Just get up and go!"  And that's the voice I listened to!  I knew I wouldn't regret it!

I got up ~ I got dressed ~ I got my walking shoes on ~ and I set out!  From that first breath of fresh air I was energized!  It was a crisp, cool morning, dew making the grass sparkle, and that quiet stillness that comes before the world has awoken.

The rolling hills in the background, birds flying (I'd like to say that they were eagles but most likely just seagulls!).  I love my community~ even at 5:30 in the morning there were other like minded people out and about.  Running, walking, even kids already at the skate park showing off their skills!
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When I got up to the school, I sadly discovered that they don't have a track like I thought they did so I will have to adapt!  There several trails that I can use instead.  When something doesn't go your way ~ don't give up - ADAPT!  No excuses!  Where there's a will, there's a way!
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I don't know the distance that I went but it was a very good first time out.  (I'll have another post soon about my thoughts on all the "numbers" associated with health, diet, exercise, etc.)
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I was feeling the burn in my legs ~ but it's a good kind of burn!  I plan on following this same route for the first few times and then slowly start adding distance & more inclines so that it never gets "easy".  I like the feeling of it "working".  I'm looking forward and guess what I can see in my future?  Me, running running running!

My Step 1: Regulate my sleep pattern

For the past week I've been going to bed and getting up at the same time every day (roughly: bed between 9-10 and up between 5-6).  And yes that includes the weekends!
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In just one short week I can almost get by without an alarm clock.  Which as you might know based on how most of us feel on the weekends when we sleep til whenever...feels great to just wake up organically!
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This morning before work I woke up before my alarm and it felt wonderful!  I didn't have to start the day with that tired feeling that comes from being so rudely awoken by that incessant buzzing of the alarm.

You have to start somewhere......

Few people know this about me but ~ I WANT TO RUN!

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"Away?" you may ask. No, I just want to run. I want to experience that runner's high that comes from feeling the pavement beneath my feet, the sweat on my face, my arms pumping along with the beat of the pulsing music coming from my iPod, the knowledge that this feeling is far better than any that could come from sitting on the couch eating some chips!

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Remember being a kid and that carefree, no-holds-barred, running we used to do ~ to our friends house, playing tag & kickball & hide & seek with all the neighborhood kids, and just for the fun of it? I want that feeling back!

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Just thinking about it makes me smile ~ makes me want to put on my shoes and take to the streets! Why don't I? Let me tell you: I've spent the past way-too-many years making choices that now hinder me from doing this thing that I love and yearn to do! -FOR NOW! I aim to change all that starting today!

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The reason people may not know about this secret passion of mine is because I've hidden it from the world. I've been ashamed to say out loud that it's what I want. I was afraid someone hearing it would take one look at me and laugh at the absurdity of it! But why shouldn't I run? Why shouldn't I take part in this thing that I want to do SOO badly? There's no reason why! That's what I've finally figured out! If I'm not running it's because of me! Because of choices I've made! No one else is stopping me from running! If I want to run, I have to be willing to GET UP, willing to GET OUTSIDE, willing to TAKE THAT FIRST STEP, and willing to KEEP ON GOING! Maybe I can only run a few steps my first time out ~ that's OK! It all starts with a single step!

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I've created this blog mostly for me ~ to hold me accountable, to keep me inspired, to keep me focused. Any maybe to be of some help to others who are looking to make changes in their own lives. My goal is that this won't be one more thing that I start but do not finish. I'm tired of failing at my own hand, tired of being held back (by my evil side, cause I know my good side wouldn't do this!), tired of starting something and not going all the way! I deserve better! I deserve a me that does what's best for me! I am going to quiet that mean little voice that tells me I can't do it and let the one that says I CAN have the reins!

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My promise to myself (and to you if you're reading this) is to be honest about both my successes and failures. I'm realistic enough to realize that there wouldn't be any mountains without any valleys. Some days are going to be better than others. But if I can't stand up to my failures, I'll never beat them back. By looking them in the eye I can have the hope of defeating them to make room for more success!

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As this blog progresses I'll be getting into more of my steps and my goals. But in a nutshell it's this: Start with walking, being able to walk to the track, have walking to the track become my warm up, walk/run on the track, run on the track, and warm up-run on the track-walk home as cool down.

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If you are reading this please feel free to comment! On anything, about anything, etc! I'd love to hear about what you are doing to make positive changes in your life and for your health! Maybe we can help each other and support each other!

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Those shoes in the picture on the header of this blog are my new Nike Shox ~ custom created by me, for me, and to get me moving! Knowing that they say "Becky Will Run" are like wings on my feet ~ propelling me forward as I strive to reach my goal!

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I know that I can't go out right now and *run* but I DO KNOW that by getting up, by walking, by speed walking, by taking it one day at a time, that - BECKY WILL RUN!